meta18:

foxdear:

moth866643999642311568:

this guy

two thumbs and what

this guy

(via tyleroakley)

justbadpuns:

Riding in an elevator is a really uplifting experience..

(via mouthfullofsxnd)

bourbonandblacktea:

birdgraze:

can someone please explain to me what the difference is between grey-romantic and demi-romantic? 

also.. how come we don’t class everyone as demi romantic..? is it a real thing that happens that people walk down the street and see someone and want a romantic relationship with them, and they haven’t even said two words to them or know their name?? do i just not understand anything about the world? …probably not. 

Gray-romanticism covers a variety of experiences:  someone who rarely experiences romantic attraction, someone who experiences romantic attraction but is romance repulsed and does not want to participate in romantic relationships, someone who doesn’t want or need their romantic attraction returned (also known as lithromantic), someone who experiences attraction or feelings somewhere in between nonromantic and romantic, someone who can’t tell the difference between romantic and nonromantic emotion or love (also known as WTFromantic or quoiromantic), experiences romantic attraction but only for a very brief period of time in any given relationship, someone whose romantic feelings disappear as soon as they’re returned or in a romantic relationship. (source)

This is an excellent breakdown/exploration of gray-romanticism.

Demi-romantic is specific: it means you can only feel romantic attraction after an emotional bond has been formed through friendship. That doesn’t mean you feel romantic feelings for everyone person you’re good friends with nor does it mean that being good friends with someone will lead to romantic attraction. It just means that if and when you feel romantic attraction, it’s a result of being close friends with someone. It could happen to you many times in life or just a few. Or once! Also, how long it takes for the romantic attraction to happen can vary by person and friendship: several months, a year or more, several years, etc. In other words, a demi-romantic isn’t going to feel anything remotely approaching romance after going on 10 dates with a stranger they met on OkCupid or Tinder or whatever.

Last I checked, the average alloromantic person can “fall in love” with someone in a matter of days, weeks, or months, with no pre-existing friendship. Most adults, in my experience, when looking for a spouse or whatever, don’t make friends with people first and then wait around for a year + to see if romantic feelings develop. Most of them know within several dates or within a few months to several months of casual dating whether or not they’re in love.

(via saltandthemoon)

stardust-rain:

i think one of the reasons fandom is so unwilling to criticise itself is because its internalised the simplified whitefem logic of how female gaze=progressive, fandom=female gaze, therefore fandom=progressive and uses it in a way as to never examine the social constructs that the gaze was built upon, like what factors attractiveness/desire arise from. 

you could say that fandom is the female gaze in its most tangible, autonomous form - it’s media for women by women, without bureaucracy and hurdles and censorship, something that never had the chance to develop because mainstream media for women is usually controlled by men. there are very few creative spaces that offer the anonymity and autonomy of internet fandom where we can all truly let our freak flags fly. 

but that doesn’t mean female gaze is absolved of the issues that permeates typical forces of oppression. the female gaze is aimed at different directions, and it ranges from sexual attraction to escapist fantasy, but the female gaze when it becomes an en-masse multi-community movement has the swaying power to focus on certain characters, ships and narratives. and when it does, it paints a very telling picture of who and what it values. 

female gaze regards desire/attraction first, and in white supremacist culture this means the hierarchy of white dudes, then white women, then men of colour, then women of colour. looking at overall patterns in who gets written about and who gets shunned, female gaze in fandom patterns seems to be pretty representative of the social hierarchy that ranks most-to-least valuable/humanised people. 

introduction to fandom studies tells us about the values of fandom as mostly-female created space, but it rarely goes beyond that. the female gaze can be racist. it can be imperialist, ableist, transphobic, misogynistic, despite it being a  concept that aims to subvert the male gaze because it did not develop in a vacuum; it developed in a society that’s oppressive and marginalising, therefore it bears the capacity of being equally oppressive and marginalising just like all other forms of media. 

fandom as a manifestation of the female gaze may be more progressive than male-controlled mainstream media, but doesn’t mean it’s automatically absolved of the social issues it was born in. 

(via saltandthemoon)

theasexuallarrie:

juliaisnottall:

theasexuallarrie:

Realizing that I’m not alloromantic really opened my eyes to a lot of things. I realized that most of “my dreams” (dating, getting married, “settling down”) were really just the things that I have always been told were inevitabilities of life. It was always “the next guy you date” and “when you get married” without giving any room to want anything else. Realizing those are not essential for a happy life actually opens the door for me to pursue my real dreams. I don’t have to worry about finding a job that pays well because I only have myself to support, so I’m free to go for my dream job. I wouldn’t have to worry about having to give up that dream job because my spouse got a job somewhere far away. I could try crazy things like living off grid or moving into a tiny home without someone vetoing it. I could move to Europe, I could travel around the world, I could have any pet i want, I could sing at the top of my lungs at 2am without annoying anyone. It’s just so freeing to realize that I don’t have to compromise. Having a relationship that requires those sort of compromises isn’t necessary.

these kind of posts make me happy and make me think that maybe I shouldn’t be so confused, thank you

I am so happy that I could help! 

(via saltandthemoon)